The Hand That Rocks the Cradle…

If you haven’t already seen this, I’m thinking that a whole lot of moms (or sane people in general) are going to become “Mad Moms!”

I’d like to thank Katherine Timpf for bringing this to our attention so we can all rant about this little lady who is apparently the product of the “Let’s give a trophy to everyone who participated!” generation (only now she wants to ditch the participation requirement) before this insane idea becomes the movement du jour and we start paying MORE people for doing nothing.  Sorry, we are not all equal.

First of all, I think moms should be home with their kids if at all possible.  Totally not possible for everyone.  Got it.  No need to send me nasty messages either for or against working moms.  My mom had to work and I’m very thankful that I was able to stay home with my children and put my efforts into forming their minds so they didn’t turn out like Ms. Foye.

Let’s take a look at Ms. Timpf’s story on this “me-centered” chick, Meghann Foye:

She calls it “meternity” leave.


I probably could end it right there and moms of the world would let out a collective “What the heck is wrong with whoever “she” is?!?!?”

A 38-year-old woman is arguing that even though she does not have any kids, she is still like, totally entitled to maternity leave. 

And let me just respond for those sane moms of the world and those who appreciate them: No way!  No how! No, you are not entitled to a vacation because you haven’t taken on the awesome responsibility of forming the mind, body, and soul of a human being you brought into this world while maintaining a job to care for your family.  In fact, I think you should be required to babysit, overnight for all of the moms you’ve just insulted.  Probably won’t do much for your entitlement issues but it would be vindicating to see you crying in your coffee after handling the night feedings and diaper changes.  Someone could use a little dose of reality.

The woman, Meghann Foye, recently came out with a book titled Meternity — the fictional story of a woman who fakes a pregnancy to get maternity leave. In an interview with the New York Post, Foye explained that even though the story in her book is fictional, it is rooted in her very real belief that childless women should get maternity leave, too.

Yep. Foye told the Post that she was 31 years old and working as a magazine editor when she started feeling like it wasn’t fair that the people who had kids got to, like, leave early to pick up those kids and take off time to have them. 

So for those wondering if this egocentric little princess is insane, if she hasn’t already cleared that up for you, her next comment will.

The more I thought about it, the more I came to believe in the value of a ‘meternity’ leave — which is, to me, a sabbatical-like break that allows women and, to a lesser degree, men to shift their focus to the part of their lives that doesn’t revolve around their jobs,” Foye said. 

What the what???  Maybe she doesn’t understand the definition of sabbatical?  Let me clue you in, Ms Foye.  Maternity leave isn’t a time for study or travel.  It’s a time to 1) heal from feeling like you were run over by a semi 2) adjust to acute sleep deprivation and try to keep your sanity through it 3) adjust your hormones to somewhat normal again 4) wait hand and foot on a helpless human being at all hours of the day and 5) figure out how you are going to do all of the above when you have to go back to work in a relatively few weeks.  Most of us have trouble with 1-4 even when we don’t work.  Giving birth is not a walk on the beach.  Should that have to be said?!?! As made clear by her comments, Ms Foye had NEVER been through that before she made such an insane analogy.  After you’ve given birth, Ms Foye, why don’t you come back and tell us about your “sabbatical.” You know, because it’s just like a vacation at the Caribbean resort.

And here’s Ms. Timpf injecting just a little sanity:

Hey, lady? That “part of their lives that doesn’t revolve around their jobs,” is a child. It’s not a portrait-painting aspiration, it’s another person, and there is nothing “me” about it. I may be childless, but I’ve seen enough episodes of 16 and Pregnant to know that women often have to give up many of their own interests when they have kids.

Apparently you actually noticed you had a mother, Ms. Timpf.  Thank you!

But Foye doesn’t seem to get that:

 “There’s something about saying ‘I need to go pick up my child’ as a reason to leave the office on time that has far more gravitas than, say, ‘My best friend just got ghosted by her OkCupid date and needs a margarita’ — but both sides are valid,” she continued.

Oh yeah. Those two things are exactly alike- except they’re not. At all.

And back to someone who has a little bit of sanity (if I had to guess, one of these ladies was raised by a mother and the other a nanny or maybe boarding school?):

 Uh… Foye? Picking up a child so he or she will not be left stranded is more important than drinking in the middle of the day with your emotionally inept gal pal. It would be one thing if all the moms were allowed to get midday margaritas just because they were moms — but they’re not allowed to leave work for that either. You want what moms get? Then become a mom. The rules are the same for everyone! That’s not an injustice; it’s the definition of fairness.”

Oh, I wouldn’t wish Ms. Foye inflicted on any child.  She should stick to her spray-tanned, well-manicured bar scene.  There’s not a chance in the world that this woman is prepared to handle motherhood with a me-centric attitude like that. She wouldn’t last a day in my world.

For all the moms that would like to knock some sense into this girl, this one’s for you.  Hope your Mother’s Day is blessed!

       William Ross Wallace (1819-1881)




      BLESSINGS on the hand of women!

        Angels guard its strength and grace.

      In the palace, cottage, hovel,

          Oh, no matter where the place;

      Would that never storms assailed it,

          Rainbows ever gently curled,

      For the hand that rocks the cradle

          Is the hand that rules the world.


      Infancy’s the tender fountain,

          Power may with beauty flow,

      Mothers first to guide the streamlets,

          From them souls unresting grow—

      Grow on for the good or evil,

          Sunshine streamed or evil hurled,

      For the hand that rocks the cradle

          Is the hand that rules the world.


      Woman, how divine your mission,

          Here upon our natal sod;

      Keep—oh, keep the young heart open

          Always to the breath of God!

      All true trophies of the ages

          Are from mother-love impearled,

      For the hand that rocks the cradle

          Is the hand that rules the world.


      Blessings on the hand of women!

          Fathers, sons, and daughters cry,

      And the sacred song is mingled

          With the worship in the sky—

      Mingles where no tempest darkens,

          Rainbows evermore are hurled;

      For the hand that rocks the cradle

          Is the hand that rules the world.