Clothing NOT Optional

This showed up in my Facebook news feed. Now that she’s been “bullied,” I’d like to also add a “mom of boys” rant and “wife to a husband” tongue lashing. Can this woman be this incredibly naïve? I can’t fathom that level of cluelessness but I suppose it does exist. (warning: if you click on this link you will see an ever so slightly clothed chick. I’d prefer you didn’t click but I kind of have to cite the source.)

The lady who was bullied for wearing a short dress to a wedding speaks out
Naija Tabloid Monday, July 04, 2016 Entertainment

Remember the lady who was ridiculed for wearing a short dress to a wedding? She is a fitness and nutrition coach named Liz Krueger from Minneapolis and she has hit back at the criticism by starting her own hashtag, #KruegerKindness, to inspire women to do kind things for each other.

First of all, no, I don’t remember this. I’m finding it hard to believe poor taste is news these days but whatever.

Mrs Krueger, in late june, uploaded a photo of her wearing the dress on Instagram with the caption:

“If only I knew that choosing this dress for a wedding on a 90 degree day meant so many women would be out rightly rude to me, and even come up behind me slap my ass as I’m standing alone. It was a dare from her friends, bc I was a target”.

Please, girlfriend. You didn’t put on this dress because it was going to be hot. You put on this dress because you wanted to be SEEN as hot and you wanted everyone to look at you. You weren’t “bullied” because of what you were wearing. You were “bullied” for what you weren’t wearing which was, namely, clothes. Band aids don’t count and it’s usually considered proper to actually dress for a wedding, not to undress for it.

Let me give you some wedding etiquette. It’s not “you” day. It’s the bride and groom’s day. You were being every bit as obnoxious as the guy who has had one too many and makes a pass at any woman in the room, as well as the mother of the bride. You had about as much thought for the bride and groom as that guy.

Next, I’m a mom. I would have either ask you to put on some clothes or I’d have to take my young sons out of there because I didn’t know I was attending a Playboy photoshoot. Don’t think I would? Think again. Seriously, you weren’t just embarrassing yourself but everyone in the entire room. Of course, I’m the “religious bigot” (that’s what those with a shred of common sense are called these days) so I’d also tell you that you were being a tad bit more than a near occasion of sin to the men in the vicinity. Seriously.

And then proceed to spill a full beer spilt down my arm. Just one of maaaaany acts of kindness of the night. Yup. That happened. Good thing for thick skin, being able to laugh at things and not take it personally, and good friends/hubby by my side #adultsarebullystoo .’ Regardless, we had one heck of a fun night and no “grown” women’s comments/glares could bring me down as a wedding guest:)

OK, I’m not into the bullying but really, somebody should have told you that the vast amount of “thick skin” showing was a tad bit over the top. And, back to embarrassing…Either your husband is as big of an attention seeker as you or he was probably also embarrassed. What kind of man wants all the other guys in the room looking lustily at the wife? Well, maybe he does but I’m sorry for him if that’s the case. Wonder if being a father of a girl would change that, or if he’d be happy if everyone wanted to sleep with his daughter? Are the fathering skills of Richie Sambora really going to be the new norm? “You want to wear that string bikini baby? Let’s get it into a magazine for all to see!”

Mrs Krueger also took to Facebook to thank a popular U.S blogger Constance Hall, for supporting and defending. She wrote:

‘She gets me. She supports me. And guess what? She doesn’t even know me. I am not playing a victim. I am not attention seeking. I am not vain. I am not slutty. I was not trying to upstage a bride. I didn’t have an agenda when I put on this dress. I’m not trying to name names or call anyone out. I’m not “a model trying to heighten my career. I’m sticking up for myself and my body, and the fact I can post about a bad experience I had at a wedding. Did I know it would go viral? Ummm no. I post every single day, but clearly this struck a cord with society.’

I have no clue who Constance Hall is but not vain or trying to upstage the bride when you put on the dress?! Were you in a pitch black room? Blind maybe? I can’t say whether or not you knew this would go viral but honey, you wanted attention and you wanted it bad. You don’t purchase a little number (a very little next to nothing number) like that unless you do.

She said she posted it to bring attention to the fact that women don’t treat each other well’ and that she hoped women would stop being disrespectful. She also penned a post explaining that when she attended the wedding, her intent was simply to ‘accompany my friend to a wedding, and have a fun girls night.’

Pot, meet kettle. Talk about women not treating each other well. Here’s a clue. When you want other women’s husbands, boyfriends and sons to stare at your barely clad body, you aren’t treating them well. Again, moms in the room were probably looking for blindfolds for their sons, not to mention wives and girlfriends. You were being completely disrespectful of yourself and everyone in the room. Have fun? We couldn’t care less if you wanted to have fun but don’t inflict yourself on everyone with eyes.

“A dress does not warrant being harassed by a group of girls, to make me feel like I was in middle school again. I think everyone in this situation learned a lesson, myself included. Be nice to each other. It’s what we learn as little kids. Why can’t we do it as adults?” She wrote.

So, what would you have done if someone privately pulled you aside and said that dress was inappropriate? Really, what would you have done? Would you have stopped for a second to give that message any credibility or would you have just played the “judgmental!” card? Methinks the latter, simply because you didn’t take any pause to buying it or putting it on in the first place. The people at the wedding were trying in their own idiotic way to say just that. They were offended by you because you were being offensive. Could they have handled it a different way? Sure, but the outcome would have been the same. It was all about you and the fact that everyone is just supposed to give you the thumbs up for every ridiculous outfit you choose to wear.

The fitness and nutrition coach posted a number of pictures of herself wearing dresses  (There’s a shocker!) to Instagram captioned with ‘the many looks of Liz Krueger’ and started her hashtag #kruegerkindness on Sunday morning.

‘I’m starting my own kindness movement #KruegerKindness! Whether it’s just a party of 1 (me), or others want to join me! I’m going to actively make it a priority to do good things for other women, every single day from here on out,’ she wrote. ‘I’m hoping to inspire others to do the same, just as I have with fitness journey. “

So, now you have to look like a hooker to be fit? Again, please. It has nothing to do with a fitness journey. It’s about having respect for yourself and those around you, especially a husband, to keep your dang clothes on. It has zero to do with “body shaming” (I mean it’s clear there’s not an ounce of fat on her perfect body) and everything to do with a lack of decent, basic morality and thought for those around you.

“A movement for women, by women, and it’s starting with me! If you want to join me in this movement, share your stories on social media with #KruegerKindness and let’s kill all the mean girls with kindness.”

As a mom of young women, no thanks. Movements like “Everyone look like a prostitute!” are not movements I want my family getting behind. Do I want my kids looking like they stepped out of a “Little House on the Prairie” book? No. I actually love fashion.  That said, I don’t want my girls to be a near occasion of sin for anyone else. Do they always understand my limited fashion rules of skirts to the top of the knees, leggings aren’t pants, and no underwear showing? Hardly. I’m sure that’s payback for my lack of understanding with my parents. I really don’t care. When they are in my sight, forget it, and I can only hope they have enough respect for their parents to follow through when they are out on their own. Do they think I have a clue? Probably not but they will get it when they have their own spouses and own children. There are just some things you don’t share with the outside world.

Just a note to the ladies during this nice, hot summer… Call me a prude, I really don’t care. Bikinis are pretty much underwear. I mean, really, what makes them different? The cute designs? You’re wearing a bra and panties and sometimes they’re even smaller. Deal. . Cleavage? Do I need to say more? (I remember a priest once saying if he could put the Host in your cleavage, your shirt was too dang low – hooray for bluntness?!) And the super short skirts? Sometimes I have to wonder if some women don’t have friends or mothers. When you bend over, jump up and sit, “I see Paris, I see France…” pretty much runs through my head. We really can see your underwear and quite often. It’s really mortifying and it happens all the time. In short, many of us just don’t want to see your “goods.” Your husbands don’t want others ogling your “goods”. If they do, then they are probably losers who never quite grew up and are using you to tend to their mid-life crises. Pathetic at best. Dads REALLY don’t want guys ogling their daughters (unless, or course, again, they are pathetic). We parents definitely don’t want you catching our sons’ attentions. We’ve got enough to deal with there. So, ya. We’re going to judge your attire if it makes living a moral life just a little harder. It’s not like it isn’t hard enough.

To the women who are thinking “I can’t help what guys are thinking?” and “I’m not responsible for what runs through guys’ heads?” Uh, yeah, you can and you are when you’re wearing a band aid. Give the poor guys a break! and stop playing dumb!  Take a little responsibility. To the Catholic babes out there… Think near occasion of sin. Do you really want to be one?

To the completely misguided girls out there trying to please or catch the eye of some guy or another…Think Grace Kelley and Audrey Hepburn (please don’t ask who they are. I fear there’s a whole generation who missed out on shear elegance. And, no, I’m not that old.) You can be fashionable without being frumpy OR flashing the flesh. Be elegant! When you think of elegance, does anyone truthfully think of Liz Krueger?

I’d like to take a moment to plug an on-line magazine (by young people instead of some dated gal like me) that is trying to convey all of these same ideas of modesty (See? I’m not so outdated after all!): If you’ve got someone in your life who thinks they need skimp to be attractive, it’s a nice site.

So, #bekindwearclothes!


5 thoughts on “Clothing NOT Optional

  1. Once as a young man I had a young woman the pew in front of me wearing an incredibly short white dress. it distracted me all during Mass and as we were leaving I said to her, “Miss, I came to worship God, not you!” She looked at me blankly and I had to bring her into my world by saying, “That dress!” Still, I regret it. Even now I wonder if I could have found a more diplomatic, Christian way to get my point across.

    That said, I wonder if we ought to up the rhetorical ante on all this kind of thing, or better phrased, start using the moral vocabulary of our time. With a smile: “Miss, I wonder if you realize that dress is a hate crime against God?” Yes, that should spark an interesting conversation full of all kinds of evangelical possibilities. Or, “i wonder if it has occurred to you that your dress is offensive to so many people. I wonder why you would want to make so many people angry? it seems very unkind.”

    As I say, we have to find our way. The other evening at the baggage claim carousel at the airport a couple of young men were being unreasonably ( but not over the top) affectionate with one another. It was ticking me off, but I could think of nothing to say. Yet, we have to find our tongues about all this kind of thing, for as the old saying goes, “What you permit will continue.” In other words, we want people to start thinking that when they do this kind of thing they are going to run a gauntlet of unpleasantness.

    What’s the alternative but “tolerance?” No, we have plenty of opportunity to start exercising virtues of courage, fortitude, simple charity for lost souls.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s summer here in Texas, the time of year when far too many moms and even grandmas feel the need to let it all hang out. At the grocery, at the dentist, in restaurants… They are constantly dressed like they are headed for a shift at a strip club. For many, they need to get that return on investment on that tattoo they sprang for. Nothing says trying too hard like a 45 year old with a great big rose tattoo on her back and shoulder. Somehow it is slightly less shocking when you see the 15 or 16 year old who just has to show off the body she has recently acquired. They’re too stupid to know better. But fifty years ago a parent would not have let them out of the house in such a state.
    It’s so ridiculous when these women try to use the heat as an excuse for their immodesty, especially when everyplace you go is over-air conditioned to the point that you have to carry a sweater. A longer skirt is quite cool in the summer.


  3. I clicked on the link. She looks like a hooker. You were too kind to her.

    By the way, the correct spelling is “cite the source” rather than “site the source”


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