People recently have been asking my thoughts on the Synod of Bishops on the Family. To be quite honest, I’m trying not to think about it, mainly because the majority of the new additions to the synod annoy the heck out of me. To annoy me a tad bit more, my guy (Archbishop Cordileone) didn’t get invited to the synod, even though he was one of the picks of our USCCB. Heaven forbid the guy who we Catholic Americans think of as “the marriage guy” goes to a synod on the family! Quite frankly, if I were him, I would probably consider it a gift not to be invited to the dysfunctional family dinner, but as a member of the laity, I do not. My dream is that Pope Francis sits everyone down and lets them all talk, and then he tells the troubled children to go to the corner and think about things for a while. Wouldn’t that be lovely? I would like to point out, though, that it’s never too late to invite Archbishop Cordileone to the table, Holy Father. Maybe Archbishop Cordileone could be the keynote speaker? Heck, maybe that’s what you’ve had planned all along! I’ve heard none speak better on the subject. The rest of us might want to contact the Apostolic Nuncio’s office and ask him to let the Holy Father know that you think it would be a smashing idea! In case you didn’t know, he has an email address: firstname.lastname@example.org. Now, some of you might think I’m kidding, but I’m serious. Archbishop Vigano is a lovely man, and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind letting the Holy Father know of such a fantastic idea! To those of you who are saying “It’ll neeeevvveerrr work!”, it definitely won’t if you never do anything! #meetthelaity
At least I can be consoled that more than half of the American bishops are solid. Then there are the African guys! Still, I may just opt to tune out for the next few weeks and sit in a corner rocking back and forth, although my stupid human nature will likely have me looking for reports like people look at a car wreck. Will it be a disaster or won’t it? I suppose the World Meeting of Families will probably give us a little glimpse into how Pope Francis will handle things at the “family dinner,” because it doesn’t get more dysfunctional than Catholics in America. Actually, who am I kidding? Catholics in Germany are way ahead of us on the disaster scale.
In reality, the synod is just an advisory committee. I’m really not as incredibly worried as most of the Catholics around me. What’s the point? I hope it turns out to be an amazing smack down of liberals who would try to ruin marriage, but I’m actually expecting a whole lot of nothing. Well, I guess not nothing. It looks like some of the Germans might fling off into the abyss. Sadly, they’re likely already there anyway, and we might end up with a whole lot of solid German bishops in their wake. That would be awesome, but since it’s far more fashionable to subvert the Church from within, I’m afraid they’re going to be there for the duration. They’ll just pout and do whatever they can to undermine things for as long as they can. If not, and they lead a nice little schism, we’ll probably just compare them to that other German guy who revolted and also had some trouble with marriage in a few different areas. “Those who fail to learn history…blah, blah, blah.” They just make it too easy. (Insert long sigh!)
Anyway, the hysteria over the upcoming synod is just not super high in my house. Like I said, it’s more of an annoyance. My thoughts are more like, “How will Pope Francis be misquoted today and how long will I have to hear it this time?” or “How in the heck will the National catholic Fishwrap spin this one?” or “No you stupid media pundit! ‘Gay marriage” will not be allowed.” In a nutshell, the same things I yell at my TV or news feed on a daily basis.
My real fear has more to do with the “World Meeting of Families” and assassination attempts or terrorist plots. For all of Pew’s research on supposedly disinterested Catholics, a bazillion of them are descending on Philadelphia. I’ve got a lot of friends and family going to that one, and the crowd control reports I’m hearing and seeing are crazy! It’s going to be chaotic and wall-to-wall people. In other words, it’s a perfect target. Muslim terrorists could kill two birds with one stone. May God guide our law enforcement agencies to keep everyone safe. May God also give us a super-pleasant surprise for both of these two events! Last but not least, may God thwart dissent at every turn!